Once Upon A Christmas Carol
by grinsandgiggles
Summary: It's Christmas Time in Storybrook and both Regina and Emma have a few lessons to learn, of course with the help of the dear Spirits of Christmas Past, Present and Future. SwanQueen. Based on Charles Dickens's "A Christmas Carol".
1. Of special frowns and daily missions

_A/N: This just popped into my head one day and wouldn't let me sleep, so here is our very own SwanQueen Christmas Carol. Enjoy. Will be around 12 chapters. Not quite the season, I know, but hey, the Christmas Spirit never sleeps._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon A Time_

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Once Upon A Christmas Carol

Chapter 1: Of special frowns and daily missions

_Humbug,_I think to myself as I walk through the grocery store and yet another jolly Christmas song starts playing.

"_I've been dreaming of a white Christmas_," the singer sings in an agonizingly slow way, dripping with feelings, and it makes me throw up a little in my mouth. I hate Christmas songs but this one is especially gruesome. I'd rather have a bunch of fire ants eat me as their thanksgiving dinner or suffocate slowly without losing consciousness than have to listen to the monotonous singing of Bing Crosby. Well, at least it's not the Chipmunk version.

I grab Henry's favorite cookies and throw them in my cart. I hate buying cookies for Henry. They are unhealthy and consist of basically just sugar and a few chemicals. I can make cookies that are both healthy and delicious, but Henry won't eat any of those. He says he doesn't like them but I know exactly that he's just afraid I've poisoned them or anything. He _is_ basically right, I've poisoned food before, but _never_ would I poison my own child and also I tend to use apples when I try to poison someone, they _are_ kind of my trademark sign.

A guy walks by. "Good morning, Madam Mayor, merry Christmas," he says joyfully and I force a smile on my face. He is wearing a Santa hat and he looks absolutely ridiculous. Nodding I continue my way through the grocery store, ignoring him and the puzzled look he shoots at me.

I don't do wishing people merry Christmas. I don't do baking Christmas cookies. I don't do buying Christmas trees, I don't do _Christmas_. It's ridiculous really that anyone does. There is no Christmas in Fairytale Land, there is no Jesus and there certainly is no Santa Claus. I'm not even sure we have _any _kind of religious holidays. The _holiday of love_, yikes! It's probably Snow's favorite holiday. I can imagine her sitting under the decorated Christmas tree, sipping hot cocoa with cinnamon (ugh), holding hands with Charming (yuck) and whispering "_You found me_" over and over again (vomit). Or maybe she prefers Easter, she and Charming can take turns hiding and exchange "You found me's" all day long.

Humbug, this whole holiday charade is nothing but humbug. And the worst about it is that you just cannot escape it, Christmas is _everywhere_. Decorations are in the streets, in the houses, _on_ the houses. Lights, candles, mistletoes, tiny Santas, giant Santas, people dressed as Santa, trees in all sizes and colors. It seems like everyone is desperately trying to get rid of all their money and spend it on ugly plastic decorations.

I realize Santa is not far from Satan and I chuckle because that's exactly how I feel about the fat old man in his red suit. Honestly though, does nobody think it is rather creepy that some old man makes your children sit on his lap and asks them what they are whishing for only to come through your chimney late at night to give them just that? In my reality that's either a burglar or a pedophile. And I welcome neither.

Just as my mood hits rock bottom I run into someone who quickly mumbles an apology. As I'm about to complain about the apology and scold the person for being so careless I look up at the person and freeze. Eyes that contain every color imaginable stare back at me, slightly in shock. Emma Swan, _Merry Christmas to me._

"Sherriff Swan," I say coldly.

"Madam Mayor," she replies, obviously just as _happy_ to see me as I am to see her. I look down and expect to see that horrific red leather jacket, but she's chosen to wear a thick grey winter jacket today. It is quite cold outside and in my mind I congratulate her on her wise choice. She is also wearing a knitted hat, also grey, bringing out the grey in her eyes. It's funny how her eyes change color depending on what she's wearing or how the light hits her eyes and sometimes even her mood. And I remember every single one of them. I especially like the furious-crazy-eyes.

Right now she's staring at me with her eyes slightly widened and an angry pout. God, she looks adorable. I don't have feelings for Emma Swan. I just don't. It's just that ever since I casted the curse and woke up in this strange little town called Storybrook (really, Rumple, Storybrook?!), I've waited for someone to step up to me, to make me feel like the Evil Queen I was, to bring back the anger and power I feel whenever I crush somebody's dreams. And I've waited and waited, but no one did, not even Snow and it was driving me crazy! I wanted to see them suffer, to _make_ them suffer, but they didn't. Well, they were apart from one another, didn't even know who they were and it was fun to watch, at first, but they also didn't miss each other. They lived their sad little lives in peace and they just didn't deserve peace. They were avoiding me and backing down whenever I threw an insult their way, agreeing with me and apologizing for whatever they had done and I just wanted to see their eyes filled with pain, fear and fury. Nobody was daring enough to fight back.

When Henry came things changed slightly. He was a child after all and even though he loved me dearly back then, he was a challenge. He would refuse to eat his vegetables or he would beg for hours to let him watch TV and then fall asleep on the couch, he would cry and whine because he didn't want to go to kindergarten on his first day and he refused to even leave his bed when his first day of school came. He _was_ a challenge, but he wasn't enough of a challenge. Something was missing and at first I didn't realize what it was, but after Emma Swan showed up on my doorstep I suddenly understood. I couldn't hate him. I loved him for who he was and for what he had brought into my life and I would never hurt him in any way. I wanted to cuddle on the couch for hours or read stories to him, help him with his homework, anything really to spend time with him. His love was a gift from heaven, but it wasn't quite all that I wanted, what I needed.

I wanted fights, I wanted tears, I longed to see fire in somebody's eyes. And Emma Swan gave me just that. Finally I had somebody to hate, who would hate me back and show me that they did. I would use every possibility to make her miserable, to stir the fire inside her. When she assaulted my precious apple tree I felt more alive than I had for almost 28 years. When we fought in the storage room and she backed me up against the locker with hate sparkling in her eyes I felt like I was going to burst from joy. My ideas what to do with her ranged from scratching her eyes out to biting her head off and I loved it. She challenged me, she stood up to me, she made me_ feel_. For the first time in 28 years I had something to be really passionate about, apart from Henry that is.

I would spend my sleepless nights coming up with plans how to torture her even more, I would make her spend hours at my office just to watch her fume and at some point, somehow she had set camp in my mind. I fell in love with the challenge she was and I found myself thinking about her more and more. I started getting a little protective over her, no one was allowed to insult her, to fight with her except me. Rumple was not allowed to threaten her or try to talk her into making a deal with him and Snow was not allowed to snap at her when she made fun of her and Charming. Her fury and her anger were reserved just for me. I loved it how she hated me, I loved it how she made me hate her, but at the same time I didn't hate her at all. After Henry had brought back my tender feelings, she brought back my passion.

I was so incredibly thankful for her being in my life and that's when I started getting confused.

After Daniel I had made me promise myself never to fall in love again and the constant pain I felt whenever I thought about him (and I did a lot) did a quite good job of reminding me of that promise. But love begins with passion and, oh, there was a lot of passion. I constantly wanted to be in her company (to anger her of course) and I started to notice little things about her I hadn't noticed before. Like her eyes. They were my favorite part of her. The colors, the raw emotions in them, I could spend hours staring at them, waiting to spot another expression or another shade I hadn't seen yet. Of course I didn't, but I still wanted to. I memorized every expression of her face, every frown, every pout, every smile. She had a special smile for Henry and a special frown for me. And I tried my best to bring out that special angry, slightly confused frown that was there, waiting in her repertoire of expressions, just for me and _only_ for me.

But while I was coming up with plans how to bring out that frown, little voices in my head kept telling me to show her how much I appreciated her hate, how much I appreciated _her_. Now I couldn't just show up at her apartment with flowers and a Hallmark card saying "Thank you for hating me" on Valentine's Day or invite her over for dinner, so I did the only thing I could come up with without making her suspicious: I let her spend more time with Henry. I asked her to watch him for a day because there was some emergency at work that needed my full attention, I arrived ten minutes late in the evening when I was supposed to pick him up, saying I was held up in a meeting, I even let him stay with her on Christmas, explaining to her that I didn't celebrate Christmas and therefore didn't need him to spend Christmas with me. I was being more civil with her, our fights became less and somehow her presence alone became enough for me to remind me of the passion I had. Still I made it my daily mission to bring out that frown. So no, I didn't have feelings for her. Not at all, _no_.

"Is there anything I can help you with, Sherriff?" I break the silence after our little staring contest.

"Umm," she starts, obviously a little uncertain, "Henry has been telling me to ask whether you would…like to join us on Christmas Day and have dinner with us." It sounds more like a question and I'm caught a little off guard. Emma Swan is inviting me over to the Charmings to have Christmas dinner with them. I'd rather bathe in hot lava than eat with Snow White and her lovebird of a husband.

"Miss Swan, as you are very well aware I do not celebrate Christmas, therefore I do not intend to have a Christmas dinner of any kind, not at my home and _certainly_ not at your home." _Home_. The house on Mifflin Street has never been a _home_ to me. It's a wonderful house, it's elegant, cozy and the garden is incredible, but my _home _is a simple stable with my favorite horse and the man I love inside. My _home _is far, far away from me, both in distance and in time.

Emma instantly reacts to my rejection; the anger is evident in her eyes. "Oh come on Regina, it's just a dinner and it's important to Henry to have you there. You might not celebrate Christmas but it means something to Henry and he wants to have his _whole_ family together on Christmas, don't you understand that? So for once stop being so stubborn and just accept the invitation." There is this word again, _family_. I have a _mother_, I have a _father_, I have a _son_. I have no _family_. Family means love, family means comfort and family means trust. I trusted my father and where did it get me? I love my son and how does he thank me? And where was the comfort when my mother used to torture me.

"Christmas is just a poor excuse for picking a woman's pocket every 25th of December." That's not why I hate Christmas, obviously, but it's a good excuse and it sounds poetic. And also it's true. People keep showing up at my office asking me for some kind of Christmas benefit. Money for the_ poor and helpless_. Why again are they poor and helpless? Oh, I remember, because _I made them_.

The Sherriff frowns and runs a hand through her hair. No, that's not the frown I want. She looks back at me with an annoyed expression. "_Please_, Regina. For Henry." Henry wants me do spend Christmas with me. To do _what_? To stare at me angrily while he is making plans for Operation Cobra (yes, I know about that)? To check everything that looks the slightest bit like it could be an apple for poison? To ignore me overall and make me hurt even more? I think I'll pass. And I do _not_ celebrate Christmas!

"I am sorry Miss Swan and I appreciate your effort, but I do not celebrate Christmas and I do not intend to have Christmas dinner with you or your family or anyone. However, I do expect you at my office at 7 to discuss you budget plan for the next year." I almost have her. I can see the frown building, but then her face drops and she just looks tired.

"Regina, it's _Christmas_," comes her reply and she sounds just how she looks: exhausted and tired of fighting.

"Then 7.30." I almost laugh at myself; this is just too much fun. She is shaking her head now.

"Regina, December 25th is an _official holiday_, you can't just make me work on a holiday, I have rights." The "I have rights"-speech, _adorable_. But she won't give me the frown and so it's not half as much fun and I decide to drop it.

"All right then. Think of it as my Christmas present and have a day off, but I expect you in my office an hour early when the holidays are over to make up the lost time. This town doesn't run itself and my time is precious, so please don't be late." I don't give her time to reply and just leave her hanging. But as I turn around and make my way down the aisle I feel my heart pounding in my chest and a grin appears on my face. She has given me the frown. _My_ frown.

Today's mission accomplished.

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_A/N:Reviews and critics are always welcome._


	2. Of thought invaders and things to hate

_A/N: So here's chapter 2, this time from Emma's point of view. Have fun reading._

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Chapter 2: Of thought invaders and things to hate

Once again Regina Mills has managed to drive me crazy. I watch her walk away with her head held high and her hips smugly swinging. Anger is running through my veins and I can barely prevent myself from running after her and making a scene. But it's Christmas, and 'tis the season to be jolly. And, _oh_, I will give her jolly. I will give Henry the Christmas of his _life_ so he won't be able to stop talking about it for days. Mayor _Scrooge_ might not celebrate Christmas, but Henry sure will. Once she sees him surrounded by his family, with a happy smile on his face and this special christmas-y joy in his eyes she will be sorry that she refused to share this moment with him.

And how dare she expect me at work on _Christmas_. I know, I know I'm the Sherriff and I have to be available all the time, but not on _Christmas_. That's just morally wrong. As payback I decide to show up an hour late for our meeting to discuss my budget. She'll find a reason to get mad at me anyway, so why not just give her one.

I finish my shopping, my way through the grocery store accompanied by several "Merry Christmas, Emma's" and u-turns to avoid running into the Mayor again. I'm still wondering how I keep running into her, it's like I'm cursed or something. Or maybe she's stalking me, crossing my way on purpose to make my day just a little bit more miserable. It's probably her hobby, going Emma-hunting. At least I manage to avoid her right now and get out of the grocery store without having to talk to her again. It's always a bad sign if someone does not like Christmas, let alone doesn't even celebrate it. Only bad people don't like Christmas. Mary Margaret has been Christmas crazy for weeks, flooding our apartment with candles and mistletoes, not to mention her endless baking. She has probably produced enough cookies to supply whole Storybrook, but she refuses to eat most of them because she's worried about getting fat and so Henry and I have to eat them. I can already feel the effect on my hips and thighs, and _I really don't like it_.

Even I love Christmas, always have, always will. Even though the holiday is about love and family and I never really had any of those, Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. I spent almost every Christmas in another surrounding, another place, another family, sometimes even just with the other kids at the shelter. I've had big Christmas trees, small Christmas trees, no Christmas tree at all, I've had presents and I've had no presents, I've had company and I've celebrated alone. I've had shitty Christmases and I've had my very own small Christmas miracles. However, there has always been something about Christmas that I absolutely love. It's never been about the holiday itself, but more about the feeling. I've never quite believed in Santa Clause, but I have always believed in the Christmas Spirit, I still do. It's the Spirit that makes us go all mushy and brainless, it's the spirit that brings the joy into the children's eyes and it's the spirit that makes us feel jolly. Christmas is all about sharing and giving back. I might not have much to give, but I can still do my best in living the Christmas Spirit. And if it means I have to share my son with his adoptive mother on Christmas, even though I hate her and my Christmas present to her would be my boot up her ass, I will happily do that.

The fact that she's refusing to accept my invitation to have Christmas dinner with us just shows even more how much of a bitch she is. With capital b. Sure, she's not a part of my family, but she is part of Henry's family and he wants his whole family around on Christmas, he has told me that much. Mary Margaret and David aren't really family, too, but MM is my roommate so I can hardly kick her out on Christmas and since David and Katherine broke up he doesn't have anywhere else to be. And so what if they are not related to me, they still are family. And _so what_ if Regina doesn't celebrate Christmas, I don't believe in marriage and I would still attend a wedding if I was invited. For once she could just stop being a bitch and be nice for Henry's sake.

I hate Regina Mills, I _hate_ her. I hate everything about her. I hate her power suits and her pencil skirts, I hate her haircut and how her hair is _always_ perfect, not even when we were in that burning house was her hair messy. I hate her stupid black car and how she always makes fun of my beetle. I hate her perfect house and her _stupid_ apple tree. I hate that superior grin she has on her face whenever she has bested me. I hate her office and I hate having to work there. I hate the way she talks to me, like she's better than me and has to teach me a lesson. I hate her sultry voice and how it gets under my skin and stays there for hours. I hate her full lips and that scar she has on her upper lip that I can't stop staring at. I _hate_ what she says about my beloved leather jacket. But what I hate the most about her is how I can't stop thinking about her.

She is always on my mind, all the time. When I wake up I wonder if she's going to burst into my office today, yelling at me for something I have supposedly done. When I have breakfast I imagine her eating with Henry in an awkward silence. She probably doesn't let him eat pancakes or French toast for breakfast like I do, but makes him eat something healthy instead. Every day at work I check my calendar twice to see if there's some meeting scheduled for that day. When Henry frowns at me I think about how similar his frowns are to hers and how he sometimes is a mini version of her, trying to intimidate me. And when I laugh I think about her smile, the real smile, when she's truly happy, not the fake one she gives all the time, and the way her eyes sparkle when she looks at Henry.

I think it started after we teamed up to save Henry from the mine. She was so afraid for Henry's life and it was the first time I realized how much she really loves him. There was so much hurt in her eyes, so much desperation and fear, it made her look so unbelievably vulnerable. She tried to hide it, bitching around, acting tough, yelling at me, but she just couldn't get that _look_ off of her face. And when we couldn't get him out at first she almost burst out in tears in front of everyone. But the moment when something inside me snapped was when she invaded my personal space and came so close I could feel her breath on my skin. She had trusted me with her son's life, her son, who means everything to her, she had put his life into my hands. And that's when I realized how exhausted she really was. She was just another lost soul looking for peace, even though she did it the wrong way. She wasn't a bitch because she liked being despicable, she was a bitch because she didn't know what else to be.

From then on I concentrated more on her motives than on her actions and what I found was a lonely, sad woman who was desperate for love and affection. She had no one to give her affection though, not even Henry did, though he loves her dearly. I decided to go easy on her and show her that not everyone was out to get her. I tried to be nicer to her and out fights became less. I don't know anything about her past and what she's been through, but it must have been bad. I know how it is to go through hell and have no one by your side and I couldn't stand the thought of her so obviously crying for help with nobody there to answer. So I started giving her a little help here and there. I told Henry to be nicer (for Operation Cobra as I told him), I sometimes brought her coffee when we had meetings and I backed her up when Mr. Gold was being a dick. We still fight, a lot actually, but the viciousness is gone. She still makes me furious, but she sometimes even makes me smile. We are both very strong headed and there is no way we would ever live in peace and harmony, but somehow our fights aren't about hurting each other anymore. It's almost like a sport, a hobby, to fight with Regina. Coming up with witty remarks, halfhearted insults and showing her just the right amount of smugness keeps my mind on track. Kinda like a mental workout. And since I have Regina to fight with I don't fight much with anyone else. All my bad energy is going into our fights. Sometimes when she doesn't let me finish a fight or we are interrupted it leaves me in a bad mood, though, because I can't get out what I want to say to her, but I don't really let my anger out on anyone else. Regina is like my personal mental punching bag.

And when she's concentrating on paperwork or a presentation one of our coworkers is giving and she doesn't know I'm looking I sometimes see that tiny smile after we had a fight. And when I see that tiny smile my heart starts fluttering and the caterpillars in my stomach are one step closer to turning into butterflies.

See, I hate Regina Mills. And I hate the fact that she doesn't want to spend Christmas with me.


End file.
